Aahs n Oohs posted on social media some trademark resgistrations they found...
Lots of theme park and theme park adjacent trademarks for Lord of the Rings properties by "Middle-Earth Enterprises LLC" who handles all licensing for the property when LOTR was sold to the Embracer Group (boo hiss). They currently license the property in several theme park adjacent spheres:
Live Theater - LOTR stay play and musical was in the UK in 2023 and will be back.
Location Based Experiences - Hobbiton in New Zeland, for example.
These trademarks are for the USA, meaning something is coming here. But what? Universal has been rumored to have some sort of agreement for use, but there hasn't been movement in the rumor sphere on that for years. Disney seems out of the running and I don't think the Six Flags parks have any cash to spare right now. This leaves us with some very small local park chains, like Enchanted Parks or Hershend or them going in on it on their own.
I have some other ideas, too.
The first coming to mind is a restaurant and shopping concept for a tourist destination, like Vegas or NYC. The Harry Potter Store in NYC is a model for how this could work: shopping experiences tied to a quick service dining concept.
Another is an immersive production of some sort. This can take a few forms, from a Scecret Cinema like movie showing where the Shire and other locations are recreated to a more Masquerade or Sleep No More production that is more theater-like. After all, they did have that UK play.
The last is out there but could work: licensed themed areas. Similar to how Nickelodeon properties have rolled out to several parks, I could see Middle-Eearth LLC wanting to trademark a few features of a licensed experience that is then designed and controlled by the LLC.
But right now as we sit we do not know what the trademarks are for, but it is endlessly fascinating what this could be Lord of the Rings is one of the largest properties that isn't in a theme park or other entertainment desintation experience. It really does spark the imagination of what they could do with the Middle Earth and the characters, besides put a huge pair of big naturals on Tom Bombadil.
*fumbles for the pull string of the one ancient light bulb hanging on a wire from the ceiling*
Oh man, it's dusty in here.
Anyway, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Especially for me. A lot has happened in the years since I posted a blog or participated in a podcast for good old Parkscope. I had kids, moved, got a dog, got a new job adjacent to the theme park sphere, and even bought into Disney Vacation Club.
Yea, I know, a lot has changed hasn’t it?
But this isn’t a post about me. Well, not really. It’s a post about what’s happened in the past few years of theme parks, mostly Disney ones. Yes, Epic Universe has opened and I have conflicting feelings on what we’ve actually got with that park, but that’s for another time. Epic continues a two-decade-long trend in Universal building cool, and oftentimes frustrating, stuff. What has happened with Disney in the past 2-ish years feels like something I never really experienced in my time in the theme park fandom.
I used to think that time started around the announcement and construction of Expedition Everest. It’s the first thing I remember following religiously as it went from a hole in the ground to what was, for a time while the Yeti was working, my favorite operating Disney attraction. I say operating, because my favorite attraction had been unceremoniously butchered some 8 years earlier.
That last sentence is why I’ve realized my true fandom origin story was the day I rode Journey Into YOUR Imagination. Seeing how they absolutely destroyed a work of art and replaced it with what I still consider to be the worst Disney attraction ever built was the first time young Sean realized Disney could not only disappoint him, but they could make him mad. Dreamfinder and Figment were my guys as a kid, and we probably rode Journey Into Imagination a good 5 times minimum whenever we went to EPCOT. Knowing I’d never ride it again, and that they replaced it with whatever they thought JIYI was, devastated young me.
Little did I know it would be a trend for a good decade plus. Disney under the late Eisner regime and early Iger regime really had lost its way with theme parks. Not that the parks were bad, mind you (well, okay California Adventure and Studios Paris were), but they seemed lost and directionless. Horizons was replaced by an incredibly intense simulator. Spaceship Earth turned into a Jib Jab cartoon for ½ its ride. Dino-Rama was built. Stitch's Great Escape existed.
In the Iger years, quality improved, but Disney, especially Disney World, felt like it was playing catch up with Universal and failing to really grasp the more modern audience. New Fantasyland was okay, but had to wait 2 years before the ride that really made it pop opened. Avatar: The World of Pandora opened with a great ride, but the rest of the land feels empty and lifeless. Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge was huge, has possibly the best ride in the world, and yet still felt lackluster compared to something like the wizard land down the road. California was getting some long overdue love, with DCA becoming one of the best parks around. Still, Avengers Campus was pretty lackluster at opening, especially considering it was (and probably still is) Disney’s biggest property going.
Post pandemic, things began shifting slowly, for me. Disney’s projects felt more inline with what people were actually looking for and I enjoyed what they were putting out much more. Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind and Ratatouille really added a lot to Epcot, even if the rest of the Epcot “redo” was a pretty disappointing product from a redevelopment standpoint. TRON Lightcycle/Run absolutely rips. I don’t care how short it is, it’s better than Guardians. Yea, I said it. Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway is a stone cold classic, in my opinion.
But even with all of the more recent things, the parks lacked a coherent long term strategy when it came to creative endeavors. There were vague promises of new lands for Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom, more Avengers for DCA, and the nebulous Disneyland Forward floating in the ether. Nothing felt real, however.
Enter D23 2024. I have vivid memories of staying up late watching the news trickle out from that parks panel. The Monsters Door Coaster was real. Encanto was getting an E-ticket and Dinosaur was getting changed to Indiana Jones. Magic Kingdom was getting 2 new lands with 4 attractions total. Avengers Infinity Defense was announced. It was all so overwhelming and exciting.
Still, we had seen announcements fall by the wayside and never happen before. The Play Pavilion at Epcot, Mary Poppins in World Showcase, most of the Epcot redevelopment plan, and Magic Kingdom’s Main Street theater were all announced and never built. So in the last 2 years, actually seeing the work being done to bring these to life had me believing maybe Disney parks finally had leadership that understood its value.
Well…most of its value.
Because as great and as exciting as these were, there was still a part of the equation missing. An understanding between the long-time fans and management. Bringing it back to the Dreamfinder and Figment, the parks had been raking in cash from Figment merch, but continued to let the ride be one of the most disliked in all of the parks. They were ripping out MuppetVision for Monsters Inc. They were ripping out the Rivers of America for the Cars and Villains lands. Red Car Trolley was getting ripped out for Avengers. That’s not even considering things like park reservations, Genie+ debacle, and ever increasing prices.
I don’t think many of these are huge deals, but I understand why they were worrying for most long-term fans. It opened up old wounds of replacing what was classic with IP.
In the years since, however, any fears I had have been quashed. MuppetVision closing sucked, but then Disney did what I’ve been saying they should do for a decade+ and rethemed Rockin Roller Coaster with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. And they knocked it out of the park! Then they also announced the return of an animation experience to the old Animation Building in Hollywood Studios. They announced new parades and improved nighttime entertainment.
Most importantly they started to give real TLC to classics. Big Thunder Mountain was completely retracked. Carousel of Progress was announced to get a complete redo. Country Bear Jamboree got a whole new show. Autopia in Disneyland is receiving electric cars.
This new trend had me comfortable believing Disney was not only attempting to reassert dominance with new attraction development, but was not going to wholly forsake the past to do so.
Then D23 2026 happened and blew my mind, even if it took me a few days to realize it. The Horizons Parks and Experiences Panel was, in my opinion, awfully presented. There were way too many song breaks and grating bits that really got in the way and tainted what was a bunch of really great and exciting parks info. Maybe I brought it on myself for actually watching instead of following along with social media. But there were rumors of a Dreamfinder return and I wasn’t going to miss seeing that live.
So it took me a few days to really thing about what was announced, divorced from cringe comedy and TWO CHERYL CROW SONGS. And what I realized is this was the most exciting Parks and Experiences panel we’ve ever had. Yes, even more than 2024.
Piston Peak at the Magic Kingdom looks better than anyone would have ever expected. At this point anyone complaining about it is simply ungettable. Villains Land, especially that coaster, is going to absolutely slap. Tropical Americas will really give DAK a shot in the arm. The Avengers and Coco rides for DCA look great. And Tomorrowland in Disneyland is finally getting the attention it desperately needs.
But it was two smaller announcements and the biggest announcement in the history of the Walt Disney Company that really have me realizing we are in an era we may have never seen before.
First, let’s talk about them fixing the Yeti. This is something I truly never thought would happen. Expedition Everest is one of the most popular attractions in Disney World without a functioning animatronic finale, and has been for almost 2 decades at this point. I just assumed the coaster would live out its life without one of the most jaw-dropping special effects I had ever seen. It’s not. The fact that after Tropical Americas opens they will willingly close one of their most popular rides to fix something is a *huge* step forward. Some will scoff that it’s long overdue or you shouldn’t celebrate something that should have been done long ago. Those people are wreckers. You should absolutely celebrate this. Any time Disney spends money they do not have to spend should be celebrated.
Next, let’s look at Epcot. The Spaceship Earth refurb announcement was frustratingly light on details, but that it is happening shows that the continued love for fixing the classics is enduring. Also, considering Epcot’s “redo” was recently “finished”, I kind of expected Epcot to be fully on the back burner for a while. That it has 2 projects that will be starting soon(?) is incredibly heartening. I think DAK post Tropical Americas needs another project with 2+ rides in it, and this makes me feel like that might be possible.
The biggest announcement of all time, of course, is that Dreamfinder and Figment really are going to be reunited and get a brand new ride of their own. Like the Yeti, I never expected this to happen. I thought Figment would get a new ride at some point, but I truly thought Dreamfinder was gone for good. The fact that he is not, and that parks chairman Thomas Mazloum made it clear the fans were the reason this was happening has me over the moon. Because I actually believe him. The company has no incentive to bring Dreamfinder back for any other reason. He is not popular with the general park goers like Figment is. No one except us weirdos care about him. He could have sat on the shelf until the heat death of the universe. Instead they’re bringing him back. It’s an insane thought, and one that should excite every Disney fan.
There are still years between us and seeing all these projects finished. Something here or there might fall by the wayside (cough Avatar DCA cough), but I think I’m comfortable in saying we are in a brave new world of Disney theme parks, one where new mega additions will be complimented by love and care for the classics fans truly care about.
I for one could not be more excited by what the future holds.
And that is a very new and exciting era for my Disney Parks fandom.
It's not often you see an attraction's lifespan play out within your lifetime, where its reputation took a 180 from when it opened to closed. One of those rides is DINOSAUR, closing today in Animal Kingdom. Originally named the much more badass Countdown to Extinction, the ride opened with a poor reputation that gradually improved over time as the attraction received a much-needed reappraisal.
Countdown to Extinction (CTX, god that's soooo goooooood) was Animal Kingdom's one thrill ride at opening in 1998. The only ride in the Dinoland USA part of the park, it had a lot of expectations resting on its shoulders. First, dinosaurs are cool, and I'm still confused as to why Disney has removed all references to them in their parks. Second, it was the east coast debut of the brand-new at the time Indiana Jones Adventure ride system, a hybrid of a traditional dark ride and motion simulator thrill ride. Third, in a park devoid of traditional Disney park elements (or much in general), it was the only audio-animatronic-driven dark ride in the park (the only other AA in the park would be the Hopper figure in It's Tough to be a Bug, and a very brief dinosaur figure in the water by the Discovery River Boats). It was the dual headliner with Kilimanjaro Safaris for Disney's brand new theme park!
CTX was resoundingly rejected by guests at opening. Imagineering made the same cardinal sins they did with Alien Encounter - take something kids would want to interact with and make it scary with loud noises, darkness, and scary figures. Two-hour waits for KS were frequently seen, while CTX barely mustered 20 to 30-minute waits. When FastPass was first test-piloted in the park, it was common to see "free" FP distributed to the ride to increase ridership figures. Fans endlessly compared it to the sister Indiana Jones Adventure in Disneyland with its large sets and cinematic focus. CTX, in comparison, was panned for being too dark, with only flashes of show scenes with AAs.
CTX went down for a brief rework. The triceratops statue in front of the Dino Institute was replaced with the inguanadon Aladar from the and the attraction was renamed to the upcoming 2000s film DINOSAUR. A new ride profile was developed, along with adding more foliage and improving the lighting inside. And finally, the asteroid at the end was replaced with a lunging Carnotaurus head. The attraction was still scary af but some mitigation did improve the ride's reputation.
Dinosaur finally started gaining respect only recently. A 2010s revival of Walt Disney World history and uniqueness vs Disneyland hegemony was taking off with the return of special WDW history like the Orange Bird. Dinosaur was part of this, with folks respecting the ride's AA figures and goals more than at opening. And attendance began to improve, too, as the ride was a good FastPass+ and Lightning Lane reservation. As guests' preferences for rides shifted towards more intense experiences, Dinosaur was primed for a resurgence in fandom.
Dinosaur closes today. I wish it had gone back to CTX, a much better name, and Dinosaurs had remained in a Disney park. But onward to new and exciting experiences with Tropical Americas, Encanto, and Indiana Jones. It's a bit ironic that just as Dinosaur was stepping out of the IJA shadows, the archaeologist comes and stamps the Dino Institute out. I'm also a bit sad that yet another original concept attraction is removed for another movie IP ride as its replacement. Good night sweet price.
Today is the last Star Wars Galactic Star Cruiser voyage.
Announced at D23 2017, three years after Diagon Alley opened and as part of Disney's "response" to Universal, the new hotel immediately sparked interest and speculation. How much would it cost? What would be involved? How long would the stay be? Would this be the true next step for themed entertainment? Will we get a Harry Potter experience?
Well, today, September 30, 2023, is the Star Cruiser's closing day. After a short 516 days of operation, shorter than Harmonious's 594 days by 2 1/2 months, the much-praised and maligned offering is shutting down. But Bob Chapek said the hotel was selling out months ahead of time, with tons of satisfied guests booking again. Turns out Chapek was kind of full of it, the Star Cruiser immediately started running into issues with guests and bookings. Soon after opening Cast Members were frequently being comped into the hotel to pad out the cruises while the staff on the ship were resigning due to mismanagement.
So what happened?
Well, I think there are a few factors in the failure of this ambitious themed entertainment experience...
Star Wars Hubris
Disney's been super weird about Star Wars since they acquired the franchise from George Lucas. From the handling of The Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker, the botched production of Solo, mixed TV series, and the disastrous opening of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge in Disneyland. Hell Bob Iger even thought he could "just tweet out" Galaxy's Edge would open and the crowds would come. They did not.
Iger has a bad habit of just assuming things of the public. Assuming they'll plan out their whole days months before they arrive at the parks, for example, or that minimal advertising with tons of whispers of bottleneck crowds all summer leads to an attendance and revenue disaster at Disneyland.
This hubris extended to the marketing, advertising, and nearly all the decisions behind the Star Cruiser. The advertising campaigns for the experience were all over the place, with cringe-worthy ads and confusing explanations. I would link to the really bad explanation video but Disney expunged it from the internet and the only accounts posting it really don't like The Last Jedi if you get what I'm saying. Disney never nailed the elevator pitch for this experience and it shows; is it a high-end hotel or a LARP? The ultimate extension of your personal Star Wars adventure or an immersive theater experience in the Star Wars canon? There is more than one story floating around of a family arriving at the hotel completely confused about the experience they booked and frustrated with the offerings. "Stupid tourists" some might say, but really is that an excuse for one of the world's largest media companies?
Disney's "if we build it they will come" mentality just does not work.
Not for Florida
Friend of the site David Daut and I texted over the past few months on our feelings on the Star Cruiser closing. David got to experience it twice, and I was some a-hole with just Opinions and Thoughts ™️. One thing that kept coming up between us was the fact Californians LOVED this experience - I knew more people from LA and SF who did this than anyone on the East Coast outside of FL.
The Imagineering Tax and Chapek Inflation struck the Star Cruiser hard. Even factoring in the room, park admission, dinner, snacks, and character experiences a minimum of $5000 for two days for two people is a LOT. In order for this to succeed in Florida and Walt Disney World's demographics it would need to be significantly less expensive, even the 30% off discounts offered in early 2023 didn't draw the crowds.
A majority of Walt Disney World guests are tourists flying into affordable accommodations. They want to go on rides, hit the pool, and eat at fun restaurants. They love merchandise and being on vacation. Do you know what kid's #1 favorite thing is from their WDW visits? The pool. The most popular things at Disney parks? Meet and greets. They travel for weeks at a time and create their own rhythm of life in the middle of the Florida swamps.
In California, a lot of guests are locals visiting after work and on weekends or tri-state locals on long weekend trips. Locals don't spend as much on food, merchandise, or experiences but they go a lot. And when you go a lot you want new things to do besides the rides and shows already in Disneyland. Plus, we have pools at home. LA is home to movie nerds, theming experts, and other nerds to keep an experience going for a long time. And finally, with a higher cost of living, we can spend more on frivolous things like a two-day Star Wars LARP.
Placing the first Star Cruiser in California instead of Florida solves tons of issues :
Staffing - local artists and actors to fill the experience. Expand the stories out AND build a rotating bench of cast for the roles to prevent burnout and abuse.
Affordability - $5k in California is different than $5k in Ohio or Georgia. More guests would be willing to buy into the experience.
Expectations - instead of the vacation capital of the world it's the happiest place on earth. Locals buy into exclusive events and offerings more than at WDW, just see Club 33 and the parties.
Design - The hotel with no windows and is all in-doors works better on Harbor Blvd than in Florida where the guests want sun.
Imagineering Hubris
For over a decade, Imagineering has been developing a storytelling software package for growing narratives in an interactive setting. In layman's terms, how can Disney operations control a LAPR, Live Action Role Playing, experience? Disney tested the waters with The Optimist in 2013 and Legends of Frontierland in 2013 and 2014 and even Knotts tried it out in 2016 with with Ghost Town Alive. For more on these, read Hastin's build-up to the SWGS article. Imagineering tested the gameplay systems and fine-tuned them, but too much relied on Cast Member knowledge and skill. The first big test of this gameplay was Galaxy's Edge, but after budget reshuffling under Chapek, the add-on became a standalone experience supported by a Star Wars hotel. The tests with a few hundred over one park day expanded too quickly.
Testing the gameplay systems skipped a massive step - overnight stays. This might seem like a small jump, guests will go back to their rooms and rest when not experiencing the highly planned set pieces. After all, this is just like a cruise on water, right? No, it wasn't. Guests went waiting for things to do during off times, including issues with what to do with the youngest children and the binge drinking by adults at night (the latter of which led to several Cast Member resignations).
A proper overnight test would have given Imagineering the data and backing to push for a better in-room and expanded in-ship experience. For example, the rooms on the Star Cruiser are most charitably described as "serviceable" and "you won't be in them that long anyway". This is not what you want guests saying about where they'll spend 1/3 of their time on a $1250 per person per day experience. Justify the indoor pool, fitness center, and hang-out spaces - everyone wants to be on a space lido deck! Show why the rooms should have more fun things to do in them AND why maybe spring for the good mattresses.
It's a shame to see how much WDI play-tested the game only to not even attempt to figure out the other 1/3rd of the show.
Performing overnight tests would have done two things - test the most volatile aspect of the experience and build hype. Especially the last part, imagine if the Star Cruiser had legitimate "oh my god we did a test and it was amazing but it was super limited time" hype behind it? Years of people asking when it'll return, for how long, and when Disney will FINALLY make it permanent and not just a test in a random hotel. You have a new, unique experience so why not get your fans to refine the message on your behalf? And most importantly if the whole thing blows up there is no concrete poured or assets to depreciate.
Not a Good Cruise
The central conceit of the Star Cruiser is the space cruise ship, and frankly, it's not that good of a cruise. Seriously, think about cruising and what it involves. There are dozens of different daily activities on the ship, let alone the excursions when at port. SWSC largely had a set list of things to experience with a checklist of items to complete to see everything. Instead of having the cruise cater to them, the guests had to cater to the cruise.
This ties into the mixed marketing of this experience, it's not quite a high-end cruise-on-land and it's not quite that Star Wars LARP for all fans. It was a limited theatrical experience with in-park elements, mini-games, and intimate guest interactions. This is not bad, that's actually great! But it's not a cruise.
Imagineering should have considered another conceit for the experience - travel to a Star Wars planet for a resort experience. Say it's a tropical climate even to justify outdoor activities and a pool. But structure all the LARPing around the resort, a resort which so just happens to offer daily shuttles to other planets of course! Nearly everything works just as well if not better as a resort, not a cruise. Lightsaber training in a remote, dank cave similar to Luke's Jedi training? The defense segments are now gunner positions at a nearby resistance base. Get what I'm saying?
Why I'm Hopeful
One or two of these issues could have been overcome, but all of them? The Star Cruiser was not set up for success by the company and was left to flail in the wind before it was put out of its misery under different leadership. Star Cruiser will now live on as stories of those who got to experience it - it will form its own mythology, cult status, and over-inflated emotions. After all, now it can live in the memories of fans away from the cruel factors existing in the real world.
Lots of Star Cruiser fans are very dismayed over its closing and the future of Imagineering and the future of the parks. Despite Disney's public face plant with the Star Cruiser, I am still very hopeful for the future of theme parks, themed entertainment, and hell even Imagineering.
First, I'd argue the failure of the Star Cruiser is a good thing. It's a much-needed wake-up call for a company that has attempted to convince itself for twenty years they are in a blue ocean. What Disney needs is a period of consistent attraction investment in the domestic parks to refresh and improve what is already here. There is a reason why all new attraction rumors vanished, with Josh on stage showing off some ideas two years in a row, yet there were well-founded and placed rumors of Marvel and Indiana Jones-themed Star Cruiser-like experiences. To pretend this wasn't going to be Disney's focus from now on out was pure denial.
Themed narrative experiences like the Star Cruiser are not dying. MeowWolf and OtherWorld continue to expand to new markets, each offering interactive art and narrative experiences. Sleep No More in NYC is a fantastic 2 1/2 hour story experience with one-on-ones and a story to discover. Here Lies Love on Broadway puts guests in the middle of a dance floor for a musical experience. HLL's co-creator David Bryne experimented in Denver with Theater of the Mind, a guided narrative look at how we perceive the world. With a willing demand from the public, at a correct price, and their own pride at stake I don't think this is the last time Disney is going to attempt an interactive storytelling experience.
Disney bet big on this new overnight storytelling concept, but the Star Cruiser was just not something sustainable, and that's fine. There are rumors coming out of Disney that the ship will be stripped for concepts, either to add to Galaxy's Edge or as an add-on experience to a day in the park. Maybe this was always the endpoint - the same elements designed for a park, removed to a deluxe hotel experience, returned to the land it came from. The same shuttle that would have taken guests from the Star Cruser to Batuu is now taking Batuu guests to a dining experience. Better ideas have died worse fates.
But I do not blame the fans, Cast Members, Imagineers, or the salaried daily staff behind the Star Cruser for its shuttering. Instead, it's people long gone who should shoulder the blame. They ignored the warning signs - we are just paying for their sins. Your love of this experience isn't any less valid after this article than the day you first stepped on the Haylcon, and it is the fandom that will keep the Haylcon alive. It's part of the reason why I feel hopeful for the future. Disney can stomp and pout but guests will vote with their feet.
What I find frustrating and worth our ire are the systems and executive structures that collectively mold good ideas into awkward and lesser ones. Star Wars Galactic Starcruise was pure hubris that burned bright, fast and deserved better. But that's another, older story for another time.
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You can find good friends David and Hastin discussing this experience on our podcast, I highly recommend it. David also wrote a fantastic article for us about his experience on the Halcyon and Hastin wrote about the lead-up to the Star Cruser's opening. I hope to have them on the podcast soon to debrief them from their last cruise.
Today, Joe is joined by the prolific theme park writer and video producer, Alicia Stella! In this episode, we discuss pickles, escape rooms, Minion Cafe, Villain-Con's pros and cons, USF's 2024 additions, and finally Epic Universe!
Hi Bob, it's me, Joe. I saw recently you had some thoughts on using pricing as a capacity restrictor. You are starting to realize a few things are very wrong at the parks, so let me walk you through your issues and my thoughts on what the issue is and how to fix it.
How We Got Here
After Walt Disney World stole all of Disneyland's presents in 2005 the war began. The Disney War was the ouster of Michael Eisner and your hiring for the first time, too. Congrats! After this development money at Walt Disney World started to dry up, with less and less capital going for permanent attractions and more spent on temporary entertainment or festivals. This of course helped through the 2008 Great Recession.
You know Potter changed everything, you green-lit the amazing Carsland and DCA 2.0 redo. But we got diminishing returns from the eventual re-dos of DAK, DHS, and Epcot - the constant meddling of marketing and cost-cutting has caught up. Remember this art, Bob? Do you think the Epcot redo was successful? I don't think it was successful. And I think there are other major projects that didn't land either - shall we discuss the Galatic Starcuriser?
What I really think messed y'all up is with FastPass+. Look, I think there is some really GREAT stuff with FP+ like moving all the dining to a central online system, modernizing all of WDW's data infrastructure, installing WiFi in the parks, and lots more. But FP+ was so costly and limiting that everything needed to be "on" the FP system. So instead of investing in new attractions y'all invested in ways to spread people through existing properties IMMEDIATELY. That's how we got those awkward benches in rooms, just to have a place for capacity reasons. And this whole issue gets exacerbated with Genie+.
Then you resigned before COVID-19 and Chapek took over. The maintenance in the parks have taken a hit, with numerous situations of rides failing, like TTA, Jungle Cruise, and Haunted Mansion. As I spent a week writing this article Pirates suffered a 7-hour downtime on a weekend. How can a theme park run reliably with such downtime? No wonder you can't lift reservations if daily guest capacity fluctuates by 14,000?
I feel pretty convinced that if Chapek's consultant-backed staff reductions would have decimated the parks division and WDI might not have survived. Chapek had one goal - make them pay, fuckos. The fact is, when you took over there was nothing left for Walt Disney World when you came back. You had a VP ready to quit, and your golden company ATM was finally about to break down.
It's The Capacity, Silly
Here is a list of attractions that have shut down at WDW without a capacity replacement. By that I mean an attraction of equal capacity was added. Example: SDMT and LM are capacity replacements for 20K and Snow White Scary Adventures.
Tomorrowland Theater
Stitch's Great Escape
Wonders of Life
Innoventions
ImageWorks
Voyage of the Little Mermaid (DHS)
Primeval Whirl
Damn. Oh, wait we forgot parades and nighttime shows.
Magic Kingdom nighttime parade
DHS daytime parade and entertainment
DHS nighttime fireworks
DAK nighttime show
DAK parade
Seeing the problem now? Sure, some things have added capacity! There is more walkable space in DHS, and the replacement for the backlot tours is four new rides. But you also see the issue of Animation Courtyard, right?
Bob, your product never expanded to meet the demand. All this money and, most importantly, time, was wasted on things that never added ACTUAL capacity to the parks. Your shuffling of the deck chairs has ended, and the boat is still going toward the iceberg. But there are solutions.
Add Rides and Shows
So simple it might just work!
Seriously, add attractions like rides, shows, and interactive experiences to the parks. Yes, it will take time and lots of money, but holy hell this is the solution to so many of your problems. Here are some things that can be done relatively quickly:
Stitch replacement attraction
MK nighttime parade
Play Pavilion
Rivers of Light replacement
DAK parade
Primeval Whirl replacement
Those things can be completed, roughly, within the next 24 months. That's probably your best bet for attraction guests who come down for Epic Universe to skip Universal's old parks and see your new stuff.
Long term you need more investment and it will cost you:
Long-term Tomorrowland redo to address CoP and Buzz
Update the 50+-year-old IASW and Peter Pan's flight
Finally fix the Imagination Pavilion
SSE ride system overhaul and refurbishment
Replacing Voyage of the Little Mermaid and Star Wars Launch Bay
And that's just returning capacity to the park, not actually expanding to fit a new group of guests...
Locals
Orlando has grown nearly 60% between 2000 and 2022. Disney's parks have, on the whole, remained the same capacity or decreased. Since the 2008 financial crisis and recession, more and more people have moved to Orlando or remained after a college degree or internship. Even more moved when Work From Home became a larger option, with Disney fans justifying the move in various ways. Now legions of influencers descend on the parks and things feel even more askew than before.
The parks don't just need a return to their old capacity but an EXPANSION of that capacity.
Regional Entertainment
Disney got burned good with regional entertainment, but the fact is this was a management failure, not a product failure. Look at Paul Pressler for crying out loud. But Disney has had a ton of luck with regional touring entertainment, from Disney on Ice to Broadway tours. There is a huge pent-up demand for Disney content in major regional centers. DisneyQuest was too expensive to operate, Disney's America would have been a big question mark. Instead here's what I'm thinking:
Retail - Complete revamp of The Disney Stores with new a focus on three things - guarantee plush of new movie characters to build trust, Disney vacation travel advice and booking to branch the parks and stores, and finally tie shopDisney and Disney Stores together more with returns and shipping to the stores.
Regional Kids Parks - Merlin built the formula and now Universal is jumping into the game, so Disney should toss its hat into the ring. Finally built the Mickey Mouse Park everyone joked Disneyland would be. Park would have some small flat rides, playgrounds, water features, pools, shows, and dining. Offer character breakfasts fireworks dessert parties, heck, and even build an on-site hotel with DVC.
Touring Entertainment - Pixar Putt is a touring mini golf themed to Pixar. It's cute but expensive, and exactly what Disney should be doing. The demand is there and people want to get out and move in the post-lockdown world.
Closing
Y'all have a lot of debt, poor company structure, and a streaming service that's bleeding money. It's not going to be easy to approve tons of attractions while the WGA is on strike, you WILL be targeted for it, but you have to do it. People want to give you money, yet for over a decade WDW has let dollars pass over their head while picking up pennies.
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